Why The Fourth of July is Awesome.

It’s that time of year folks, where off in the distance you hear the star-spangled banner get bungled by your drunken neighbor, and the kids shoot roman candles from their butts, yes it’s almost the Fourth of July once again.  Also known as Independence Day (as well as White People Wasted with Fireworks Day), this time…

Why the Laundromat Sucks.

If you had 24 hours left in this world, odds are that you wouldn’t want to spend any of that time in a laundromat.  I mean you’re going to die anyways so I guess you really wouldn’t care if you had clean clothes or not, but aside from that, laundromats stink, and nobody has fun at…

Should I Stay or Should I Go? The Stay-cation.

A poll on ABC news in 2011 revealed that 55% of Americans would not be taking a vacation that summer.  What does this mean?  It means we’re broke!  It means gasoline is too expensive to drive anywhere, and in the post 9/11 world it’s just too big of a bitch to get on and off an…

Good Grill Hunting

My calendar tells me that it is not yet technically summer, but c’mon, it’s summer. Summertime means a lot of things to me: sandals and sunburn, getting a heat stroke at the beach, burning myself with fireworks on at least two or three occasions, endless mosquito bites and tons of aloe vera, and honestly, I love it…

Who the Fuck is Michael Stanley?

When I was a kid, my mom used to go ape-shit anytime a Michael Stanley song came on the radio.  She would always tell me this story about how her sister met him once, and he autographed something for my mom, and how it was basically the greatest thing that ever happened. She had all…

The Top Five Worst Songs about Dinosaurs

Every month it seems like there is a new song on the radio about dinosaurs. Why? Because they are just so cool, of course. They go around, mashing trees, headbutting each other, rumbling over territory, and occasionally all while wearing sunglasses. But to me it seems like every new dinosaur-themed song I hear these days, is…

How Taco Tuesdays could Save the World

Admit it.  Tacos are awesome. Whether it’s hard-shelled, soft-shelled, stand-and-stuff, or one of my faves, the “taco boat”, tacos perhaps lay claim to being the greatest human invention of all time, just short of the wheel, and perhaps dental floss. Bernal Díaz del Castillo, Spanish conquistador and ladies-man/man’s man/man about town documented the first taco…