Sheetz Is Magic.

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Sheetz is an absolutely magical place, where dreams come true.  If I had some incurable disease, I wouldn’t travel to the Vatican hoping for a miracle, or to North Asia to seek out a shaman, I’d take a holy pilgrimage to my local Sheetz.  Even if I wasn’t cured, I could at least get some hash browns and a steak burrito, so I’d consider it a win-win.  It’s hard to think back to a time before Sheetz ever existed.  I like to consider this period in time as “the dark ages”, but fortunately we live in the golden age of man, the new age of enlightenment, because there’s a Sheetz just about everywhere.  In today’s article, we will discuss why Sheetz is a wonderfully magical place.  Enjoy.

They Have a “Beer Cave”

enhanced-28763-1394587809-13Most gas stations simply have some traditional beer coolers, but Sheetz has a fucking cave!  There’s three things I know to be true, I love my mother, I love football, and I love cold beer.  The mountains better be blue as shit when I bring it home, and the magical beer cave always makes sure to accommodate this request.  Thank you, beer cave.

The Tire Pressure Machine

sheetz1We’ve all been in a situation where we need to stop somewhere and put a little air in our tires.  Some places actually try to charge you like 75 cents, for air.  I repeat, for air.  Sheetz not only offers to check and air up your tire for FREE, but their machine is like something straight out of Harry Potter or some shit.  You type in your desired air pressure, begin to air your tires, and the machine beeps when you reach the requested weight!  Magic, I know.  I would have figured as a child that we would have flying cars by now, but I guess this is certainly a step in the right direction.  What a wonderful time to be alive.

Beef Jerky Galore

photo-6No road trip is complete without an inane amount of beef jerky.  The beef jerky rack at Sheetz never fails to impress, and nearly brings a tear to my eye every time I see it.  My life is complete with a tasty salted meat stick firmly placed in my hand, whether I’m on an epic road trip, or simply sitting on my leather recliner in my underwear.  ‘Merica!

Did I Mention The Food?

sheetz-everydayRocks-screenIf I’m never quite sure what the hell I’m in the mood to eat, Sheetz is always the perfect place to visit.  Two hot dogs for 99 cents?  Sign me up!  I can get a meatball sub on a pretzel roll?  Why the fuck not!  I have three words for you that may change your life: fried appetizer sampler.  I mean what the hell, Sheetz also sells Pepto, so you might as well go crazy with it.  Everything and anything under the sun, the menu at Sheetz is like the modern day cornucopia.

Conclusion

I don’t want to think of a world without Sheetz.  Circle K is just not the same, and no matter how hard GetGo tries, it just can’t get it right.  Sheetz is like a magical mecca of fried foods, beer, and Krispy Kreme donuts, so basically it provides the corner stone of any nutritional breakfast.  And it’s open 24 hours!  It’s like a little taste of Vegas, however the only gambling you will do is whether or not you have enough toilet paper for the morning after.  Sheetz is magic.

 

Do you love Sheetz as much as I do?  What is your favorite menu item?  Tell me in the comments!

 

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5 thoughts on “Sheetz Is Magic.

  1. I thoroughly enjoyed this post.. I love a good beer cave, my mother, football, AND beef jerky! I hate to admit I’ve never had food from Sheetz, but after reading this I am very compelled to try some.

    • I worked a late shift for awhile a few years back, and this was like the only place that was ever open when I would get off work, so I would end up here often. At some of these, you can even order your food from the pump! Now talk about lazy, I love it!

  2. Pingback: How Beef Jerky Changed The World | Tacos and Dinosaurs

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