In the wake of the recent death of Elizabeth Pena at only 55 years old, today’s article will focus on the movie I most remember her from, the 1987 classic La Bamba. The film chronicles the musician Ritchie Valens, his family life, and his rise to fame, before he tragically died at only 17 years old. As a kid, my favorite character from the movie was always Ritchie’s brother Bob Valenzuela (played by Easi Morales), who was a drug-dealing, brawling, sex-machine that just wanted to party. In today’s article, we will discuss the 10 things I learned from Bob Valenzuela. Enjoy.
1) Always know how to make an entrance. So you’re blowing into an orange-picking camp in southern California, after a brief stint in the joint? You better roll into town on a motorcycle, all murdered out with a black leather jacket and black sunglasses, or you’re just not doing that shit right.
2) It’s okay to steal your brother’s woman. Everybody knows he’s a cabrone, and he’s probably too busy doing lame stuff like ironing his clothes and dancing around in the basement. What’s the worst that can happen?
3) Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Just make sure you always have a nice cold cerveza to wash down all of those tortillas.
4) The ingredient to any successful relationship is… Love, love and a little “mota”. Tell you’re woman to take a hit, and that you need “a little action”. Again, what’s the worst that can happen?
5) The worst that can happened, happened, and you then find out that your girl is pregnant. You have to tell her something really sweet. “It’s not my first… or my last” usually works just fine.
6) Don’t get stuck with the bill. Tell some other asshole with lots of money to pay for it.
7) Anything you find in the trash, is now yours. Finders, keepers, esse.
8) What happens in Tijuana, stays in Tijuana. Hell man, take two, if someone else is paying.
9) Always make time to see your kids. If they wont let you in, just knock down the goddamn door.
10) All else fails… stand on a bridge and scream “Ritchiiiiieeeee!!!!”
Have you seen La Bamba? Did you like the movie? Is this the dumbest post ever? Tell me in the comments!