The Five Stages Of Finding Something To Watch On Netflix.


We’ve all been there.  You fire up Netflix, and you’re in the mood to watch something entertaining.  Now the only obstacle in your way is actually finding it.  In this short and sweet article, we will discuss the five stages of finding something to watch on Netflix.  Enjoy.

Stage #1 – Searching Your Instant Queue

If you’re like me, you have a massive selection of movies and shows already in your instant queue.  While searching one day, maybe you saw something that you kind of wanted to watch, but just not right at that moment, so into the queue it goes.  Before long, the instant queue takes on a life of it’s own, and once you hit about 100 or so items in the queue, it’s almost too big for it’s own good.  It’s like a giant zit that’s waiting to pop, or like my cousin Donny’s toenails.  So you bravely search your instant queue, trying to find that one title that really jumps out at you, and after circling around a few times, you realize it’s just all crap, and promise yourself to delete half of it when you get the chance.


Stage #2 – Seeing What’s Popular On Netflix

Your instant queue was a massive failure, but you still hold a lot of hope of finding that perfect movie or show, so your next stop is the “popular on Netflix” list.  This has a mix of new releases, new to Netflix features, popular shows, and typically movies with someone who has just recently died.  Scroll through the list for a few minutes, and you realize that what’s popular to most people, is shit in your eyes, and you instantly hate everyone on Earth for liking such stupid things.  I mean Honey Boo Boo?  What the fuck people, this is why we can’t have nice things.


Stage #3 – Searching By Genre

Afraid that you’re losing steam in your search, you reluctantly move onto the the lists by genre.  Which raises the question of what type of movie or show do you even want to watch?  Something scary?  Something funny?  A drama?  A suspense?  A Biographical film set in the 70s?  Oh fuck, what do I even want to watch.  You end up searching each individual category, adding items to your instant queue, because it’s not full enough already you fucking hoarder.  After about 15 minutes, you say fuck it, and move on.


Stage #4 – Searching By Title

So you haven’t found anything remotely interesting, but in your search, you have started to think about maybe some movies and shows that you would specifically like to see.  Say you ran across Face/Off, and decided you really wanted to watch the superior Con Air.  So you start typing it in, C-o-n-A-i and then all of a sudden you are hit with the message “Con Air is unavailable to stream”.  Fuck.  Now you really just want to watch Con Air.  Stupid Netlix.


Stage #5 – Giving Up, and Just Re-watching Breaking Bad Again

I mean they have all of the episodes, so why not.



Do you ever have any luck finding something to watch on Netflix?  What did you watch last on Netflix?  Why is Breaking Bad so good?  Tell me in the comments!


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