It’s been a pretty shitty weekend for us, so I felt it could use a little levity.
I don’t like using toilet paper on my ass. It’s dry and unforgiving, and I don’t like the touch of it; even worse yet, neither does my butt-hole.
I discovered flush-able wipes about two years ago, and I fell in love with these things. They smell nice, make my butt, butt-hole (and taint) feel clean, and overall I’m a happier person and a more productive human being. But buying them kind of sucks.
I’d buy a pack or two here, a pack or two there, but it was never enough. I’d find myself, alone in the bathroom, with a nearly empty pack of wipes, and the toilet paper staring me down, stuck in a difficult situation. It was awful.
Then one day, I learned that you can buy a whole box of butt-wipes, online, delivered neatly and discreetly to your door. What a time to be alive! I got down to my last three packs, and asked Alexa to order me another box, and she did! It was really quite awesome. Again, what a time to be alive.
I now rest easily, knowing that both bathrooms in this household are securely stocked. There are a lot of things to worry about in this world. Taking a quality dump from start to finish, shouldn’t be one of them.