Why Bingo Rules.

My office is right next to a Knights Of Columbus building.  What the Knights Of Columbus are, I have no fucking clue, but what I do know is that they host “Bingo Night” every Thursday at 7 o’clock.  It’s a fact that Thursday is my second favorite day of the work week, second only to…

A Drug Run and Dairy Queen.

Once upon a time about eight years ago, this ex-girlfriend of mine was really fond of pot.  I didn’t smoke, but honestly I had no issue with her doing it, so anyways she tells me this dealer of her’s that lives out in Edinburgh had a bag of weed for her.  He had to leave,…

Why Taking A Shit At Work Always Sucks.

Let’s just admit.  We all shit.  It happens.  In my ideal world, I would drop the kids off at the pool first thing in the morning, just after I’ve had my first cup of coffee, then grab a shower, get dressed, head to work, and life is swell.  But life isn’t always that simple.  Sometimes…

If I Won The $485 Million Power Ball I Would…

I never play the lottery, as I’m not really much of the gambling type, but then I heard the magic words: $485 million dollars.  Holy Jesus.  That’s like Jay-Z money.  So today I realized, other than a couple of bucks, what do I have to lose, and decided to give it a shot.  After buying…

The Stages of Winter.

In today’s special 50th post, we will discuss the story of winter, the thought process we go through as the season progresses, all vividly brought to life by a bunch of random cat pictures I found on Google.  Enjoy! Yay!  It’s snowing!  This is so much fun!  This will be the best winter ever!  First snow! I…

How To Survive The Holidays

Sometimes the holidays suck.  I can remember one specific year, when a then-recovering uncle of mine kept disappearing into the bathroom with a spoon, only to resurface with fresh bandages on his arms asking me for money, or the time my cousin got into a scuffle with my grandmother’s boyfriend after an altercation with an airsoft gun.  Happy birthday, Jesus.…